Case Study: Kevin, Asian-American in Tech, From "Ready to Die Rich and Alone" to Dating Wins

Kevin is an Asian-American man who works in tech and earns over $400K. He had never been in a real relationship. He'd tried salsa classes, meetups, board game nights and other coaches, and by the time he found us he was, in his words, "ready to go and die rich and alone." After working with Coach D and our team, he has had what Ravi calls "loads of incredible dating wins", and he's now a community leader among our clients.

In the video above, Ravi interviews him. Kevin was coached under our earlier name, CMU (Core Masculinity University), by Coach D and Ravi.

Who he is

An Asian-American in tech. Ravi introduces him as "an experienced figure in tech doing well financially making over 400k". Everything on paper was in place. Dating was the one area that wasn't working.

Where he was

Kevin had never had a real relationship. His career was going well, and it was the only thing that was:

"The only thing that I really got going in my life was my career. But outside of that, I was feeling very empty and … hopeless too because I was doing everything I could."

He'd done what he was told would work. It didn't, and he stopped expecting it to. He describes believing he'd "do everything I can, but I'll still end up … not getting what I want." So he prepared himself for it: "I was ready to go and die rich and alone."

What he'd already tried

A lot. Salsa classes, meetups, board game nights, yoga, and other dating coaches before us. He stopped doing the classes: he was only there to improve his dating life, and he says it "did not resonate with me at all".

Looking back, he says the advice he'd had was aimed at the wrong level:

"…what was missing in me was not like tips and tricks on like you know the certain lines or the certain body language. … those are largely symptoms of who you are in your core as a man."

What we worked on

Our method is called the Double-Take Effect: three parts, coached together, so that a woman stops filing you as a type and looks twice. The parts are your profile, who sees you, and your dates. Kevin's interview is about the third part, and what sits underneath it.

Your dates, and the man who shows up to them. Kevin worked mainly with Coach D, who coaches our clients on their dates. The focus wasn't lines or routines. It was how Kevin carries himself and leads, with Ravi coaching alongside. Ravi describes the man who came out of it as "assertive, confident, self assured".

His interview doesn't cover his profile or where he dates, so we won't claim anything about those here.

Kevin's view on the stereotype is worth hearing: he doesn't think height, looks or race decide it for you (see his words below).

What changed

Dating: in Ravi's words, "loads of incredible dating wins", which Kevin puts down to the work: "it led to actual results."
Life outside work: he has travelled, including to Brazil.
Standing: he's now a community leader among our clients.

In his own words

"I never got into a real relationship."

"I was ready to go and die rich and alone."

"…maybe you've read some videos where you're not tall enough, you're not handsome enough, … you're of the wrong race… and you're completely convinced that because of those factors you're not going to … make it in this world. … well that is not true."

"…repeating and doing the same things over and over and expecting different results that is insanity."

What this means for you

If you've built the career, tried the classes, the meetups and even other coaches, and still nothing has clicked, another tactic probably isn't the answer. Kevin isn't short on effort or ability. What held him back was the fatalism he'd built up (his word) and coaching that never went deeper than lines.

Want our team on this with you? Most men start with the 21-Day Kickstart: Rags rebuilds your profile and runs two live group texting sessions, Coach D runs three live group date-coaching sessions, and Ravi checks in with you by message every day for 21 days and does a one-to-one with you. USD 2,000, or two payments of USD 1,000.

Individual results; yours depend on where you start and the work you put in.