Case Study: Romeo, a New York Doctor, From Dating Struggles to Calm Confidence

Romeo is a medical doctor in New York. He had the good money, the dream job and the fitness, and he'd ticked every box he was told women look for. Romantically, it still wasn't adding up. A previous programme told him to go where the women are, so he started dating in New York, and his results got worse. Two years into coaching with Coach D and Ravi, he describes himself as calmer, more expressive, and finally choosing in his relationships.

In the video above, Ravi interviews him. Romeo was coached under our earlier name, CMU (Core Masculinity University).

Who he is

A medical doctor in New York. In his words:

"Medical doctor, I was making good money. I had my dream job at my dream company."

Where he was

His career had gone exactly to plan. Dating hadn't:

"I got where I wanted to be professionally, but I was noticing that romantically I wasn't all there."

He'd been in relationships, but "they weren't the quality relationships I would have expected." He'd done everything on the list: "I was fit. I was I had the profession." He calls it meeting "the social checklist." It didn't translate into the dating life he expected for how hard he'd worked.

What he'd already tried

Another dating programme. Romeo says it helped somewhat. Its main advice was to "go where the women are", because where he was working there weren't many. The closest city was New York, so that's where he went.

It backfired:

"I was finding there was more women in New York but I was having even less results than when I was outside of New York."

What we worked on

Our method is called the Double-Take Effect: three parts, coached together, so that a woman stops filing you as a type and looks twice. The parts are your profile, who sees you, and your dates.

Romeo's story is a clear example of why the parts have to go together. His old programme had worked on one piece of the second part, who sees you: it moved him to a bigger market. On its own, that made things worse. What was missing was the third part, your dates, and what sits underneath them.

Your dates. Coach D, who coaches our clients on their dates, worked with him on how he comes across in person. "Coach D taught me a lot about body language," he says.
What's underneath. With Ravi, Romeo worked on why he'd done everything he'd done. He realised much of it, the gym and the career included, had been driven by fear of not being accepted, and that showed up on dates. He calls the work "emotional reframing, emotional realignment": turning "fear-based emotions" into ones that "strive for success of the self."

The interview doesn't cover his dating profile, so we won't claim anything about it here.

What changed

He describes "a definite change in the past 2 years since being in the program."

Calm. He talks about "a kind of calm" that has come over him in those two years.
Expression. "I was never this … expressive." Words that used to come slowly now come to him effortlessly.
Stress. "Situations that were stressful are no longer stressful."
Choice. "I'm finally choosing in the relationships." He's now the one deciding which women are right for his life.

He's still in the same job, but, in his words, not "from a place of fear."

In his own words

"I got where I wanted to be professionally, but I was noticing that romantically I wasn't all there."

"I was finding there was more women in New York but I was having even less results than when I was outside of New York."

"Now I just effortlessly flow through stressful situations … and situations that were stressful are no longer stressful."

"I'm finally choosing in the relationships."

What this means for you

If you're a doctor, an engineer or anyone else who has done everything right on paper, it's natural to assume dating will follow. For a lot of professional men it doesn't, and moving cities or apps alone won't fix it. Romeo needed the part nobody had worked on: how he shows up on the date, and why.

Want our team on this with you? Most men start with the 21-Day Kickstart: Rags rebuilds your profile and runs two live group texting sessions, Coach D runs three live group date-coaching sessions, and Ravi checks in with you by message every day for 21 days and does a one-to-one with you. USD 2,000, or two payments of USD 1,000.

Individual results; yours depend on where you start and the work you put in.